Assertiveness has many faces. It is the ability to freely express our thoughts, our needs and our feelings.
Assertiveness means being able to stand on your own two feet and express your beliefs and convictions without letting others manipulate you.
- You set boundaries and say no without thinking about what others will say
- You create healthy relationships
- You can protect yourself
- You know your rights
- You recognize your needs and if necessary you ask for help
- You express yourself authentically without guilt or shame
- You're risking your life
- You are not a victim of situations but you define them
The skill of assertiveness takes time and practice. There is a misconception that assertive people are aggressive and selfish. This is a false belief, on the contrary, people who claim respect themselves, set boundaries and take care of their needs.
So it's good to review the way you think and ask yourself what you gain by not talking.
The person who is not assertive usually maintains a passive attitude and becomes a ballast of situations and negative emotions. There are many reasons that prevent us from being assertive but mainly it is a vague fear that becomes the biggest wall that we will need to work on and break down.
- the fear of how we will appear to others
- the fear of consequences, if they reject me, if they don't hang out with me, if they fire me
- Shame, if we have learned in a way of behavior we feel uncomfortable
- the way we grew up as children, what our environment was like
Now, you are responsible for yourself and you must listen to your needs and desires without hiding them. By swallowing our needs we become angry and close to ourselves.
Our options are not only two, either we swallow what we want to say, or we become aggressive.
There is a way to learn to challenge yourself constructively and be proud of yourself.
Remember, assertive behavior promotes respect and equality in human relationships, enabling us to be ourselves and express ourselves authentically.
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